“Cushioning” means that you have contacts with other people besides your regular partner, so that if your current relationship ends, you can immediately fall back on someone else. In other words, having a backup partner.

For many people, having a relationship means comfort, security and having someone to count on. If that relationship suddenly disappears, many fall into a pit because this certainty is lost. However, there are people who even want to avoid the uncertainty of falling without someone and try to find a backup partner during their relationship. They look for a “pillow” to fall back on. Searching for a backup partner can go through dating apps such as tinder or dating sites but can also happen in the circle of friends or at work.

Often the back-up contacts do not know that they only serve as a back-up plan should the current relationship end. They do not know that the person is already in a relationship or assume that the relationship is coming to an end. Contacts in the modern dating landscape are often made via the internet, which lowers the threshold of flirting with someone else during a relationship.

Partners often do not know that their loved one is uncertain about their relationship and that he/she has a safety net to fall back on. People who are ‘cushioning’ are often not ready for a long-term relationship or are not 100% sure of their current relationship.

Do you suspect that your partner is not always honest about his/her appointments? We can discreetly shadow your partner so that your uncertainty disappears.